Dear Readers and People who’ve never even heard or desired to read my work,
Maybe you’ve been wondering (or couldn’t care less but find yourself reading this) why I haven’t posted to social media or my website in over a month. You may also be wondering why I said I had a book coming soon three months ago and there has been no sign of it, a cover, or even a full description. Well… as some of you may know, I just had a beautiful baby girl named Lila (she’s almost 4 months). What some of you may not know is that I have also recently taken on a much larger role with my current day job. I am not one of the blessed that get to focus on writing full time and in fact my day job and income are critical to the prosperity of my family. This new role now requires me to travel for work one to five days a week. If you aren’t a parent this may not fully comprehend but, leaving your husband for such a length of time with three children under three is incredibly daunting for both parties. He is being asked to take on something a lesser man could never handle and I am being asked to spend time away from the four most important people to me on this planet. This new role requires not only more hours and more responsibility, but it also means that in the time I do have to dedicate to my family, that is my main priority. Due to this I have had absolutely no time to work on edits for my book and push it for release. I haven’t even had time to maintain social media sites and the guilt and sense of failure has been killing me!
One thing you may not know about me is that I am a devout Christian. I believe with my whole heart that Christ died for me and that I am on earth with one mission, to glorify his kingdom and proclaim his name to the lost. As I have prayed for God’s direction in my life and my family’s, I have been incredibly convicted lately about the quality and content of my work. I feel like as a Christian and mother there is a standard that I should live up to and I haven’t. If you have read my work you know that I push the limit of what is acceptable as close to the point of no return that I can before I reach a level that is inappropriate. This sort of content simply does not line up with what I believe to be right and true and glorifying to God. I essentially let my desire to be a good and noticed writer supersede my discernment in what God would desire for me to put into the world. This is in no way a judgment on anyone’s writing. I do not claim to know all, and I don’t write this to determine what is acceptable or not for everyone’s own standards. I do however need to understand my own convictions and standards that God has determined for me and in that I feel I have failed, thus far. So, for now, I have decided to step away from writing and self-publishing for now. I hope to return to this craft one day but for now, what is best for myself, my family, and my convictions is to take a step away.
I have met some amazing and talented people on this journey as Harper James. Beautiful, kind, and excessively willing to help me get started and maintain an audience. I have been blessed to learn from some incredibly gifted women. My author friends, my photographers, my designers, and my fans have been beyond what I could have dreamed of. My heart is sad to potentially say goodbye to some of them, but also full because for the first time in over a year, I am confident I am doing what God would have me do.
Thank you for everything. Thank you for allowing me to share my convictions, even if they may sound crazy to you. Thank you for the craziest year. Just… Thank you.